Category: The Archive

I recently found a list I’d made in my twenties. It was a list of all the things I wanted to achieve by the time I was 30. Here’s just a few of those dreams/achievements: A girlfriend My own car A mortgage A successful career Children Celebrity status (Ha Ha! I know … hilarious)  A…

You know you’re getting old when you find yourself saying things like, “God, I ache all over – I think I must have slept badly. “ That’s right, I haven’t been to the gym, or gone for a run, or even had a heavy pilates session.  I just had a good ole fashioned 8 hours…

I’m not really into ‘stuff’ and by that I mean the kind of useless gear you’re expected to kit your house in: distressed furniture, Cath Kidston knick-knacks and annoying prints that tell you too ‘Keep Calm and Carry on.’  I was calm; I was perfectly bloody calm until I was told to KEEP CALM in…

I’m not a grown up, at least I don’t feel like one. My inability to accept responsibility knows no bounds. I won’t even get a pet like a cat or a dog because that would require me to look after it.  I can’t look after a living thing; I can’t hang on to a set…

I haven’t written a blog in a while, ok for a very long time, ok, ok it was AGES ago. Jeez, you guys are so pernickety. I also feel like I need to apologise for my face sitting to your right while you read this.  I’ve got a massive head haven’t I? It must be…

The Edinburgh festival is over for another year and so with it the 24 hour anxiety, constant low level depression and neurosis, which frankly is a relief especially as I wasn’t even performing this year. Instead we embark on one of my favourite months, September. The Edinburgh festival is over for another year and so…

The Edinburgh festival is over for another year and so with it the 24 hour anxiety, constant low level depression and neurosis, which frankly is a relief especially as I wasn’t even performing this year. Instead we embark on one of my favourite months, September. I love September not just because it signals the end…

I don’t have kids, don’t get me wrong I’m not a kid hater, in fact I like kids.  They’re so much more honest than adults, you know where you stand with a 5 year old. If they like you they’ll let you know, but if they think you’re a bit of a twat then they…

“It must be great being single!” These words are nearly always uttered by a serial monogamist who has been in back to back relationships since they were 7 years old.  I confess I’m not single, but I practically have a degree in it as I didn’t start dating till I was 25 years old. I…

I have an unfortunate disability in that I have no spatial awareness.  I just don’t have a clue about distances or weight, or indeed any other unit of measurement. I’m just clueless. This isn’t helped by the fact that as British people we haven’t quite figured out if we use metric or imperial units. Are…