Category: The Archive

I’ve just come back from a lovely weekend away in Cornwall. “Have you been? You really must go…” Yes, I actually have been saying that to people. There’s something about holidaying in England that is quintessentially unique. On no other holiday would I consider staying in a B&B with a shower with no water pressure,…

I have recently purchased a pair of green Nike high top trainers, the kind a teenage boy would have worn back in 1986, or currently an under weight bloke sporting a pencil moustache in skinny jeans and a pork pie hat, or me: a woman in her mid thirties suffering some kind of mid life…

As a typical British person I find meeting someone for the first time can be a bit of a social nightmare. I remember back in the day when shaking someone’s hand was greeting enough, then somewhere in the nineties someone decided that we needed to become more European and start kissing each other. This was…

For years I naively believed that men were far more competitive than women. From a young age my Mother explained to me the complexities of the male ‘ego’. Ah yes…so very complicated. Basically I had to let my brothers beat me or something overwhelmingly tragic would occur to them in later life, like learning that they’re not…

It has been drawn to my attention that on occasion, Ok on more than one occasion, Ok several occasions, that I’m actually quite annoying. As if! Do I look annoying..I mean….what the…? Alright maybe I am a bit. Apparently I have an extremely irritating habit of explaining something three or four different ways when the…

I saw a play last night and I have to reluctantly admit that I enjoyed it. In fact I think I may have had a good time…who knew? I’m going to sound like a philistine, but generally I find the theatre pretty dull. In fact the whole experience leaves me cold. For a start I…

I seem to spend most of my life either bored or excruciatingly embarrassed. My embarrassment is nearly always associated with alcohol. I go out, I get drunk and then I wake up with this feeling of dread. I always wake up feeling guilty – as if I accidentally pooed in someone’s pint glass when they…

I have just got back from a snowboarding holiday. I say holiday beacuse I wasn’t working. I suspect that most people wouldn’t consider continually falling on their backside and face with a board attached to both feet as fun. They’d be right. There are some things that you do cause you know you’re going to…

I think the Edinburgh Festival is like child birth and here’s why… There is always an element of excitement and anticipation before arriving, possibly an air of optimism.  (ha ha optimism…ha ha…oh dear)  For the first few days the sun is shining,  you’re eating healthy, you’re not drinking this year, this is a fresh new…